A Soul in Pain
by GothicLolita009 aka Hayley M
Summary: Rating just to be safe. There is a soul in pain, crying out for a tourniquet. Minor slash. TF: AU


Hi, everyone! Sorry I haven't posted anything in a while. Writer's block and time contraints...you understand. Okay, this fic is a one-shot I decided to do. This is the first real songfic I've done, really, based on Tourniquet by Evanescense. The only thing I own is the plot, not the characters or the song. Oh yeah...thanks to Skins Thunderbomb for the toxic Energon cube idea.  
  
I tried to kill the pain  
  
But only brought more  
  
(So much more...)  
  
I lay dying  
  
And I'm pouring crimson regret and betrayal  
  
I'm dying, praying, bleeding and screaming  
  
Am I too lost to be saved?  
  
Am I too lost?  
  
Starscream glanced down at the floor of his simple quarters in the Decepticon base. His body ached all over from the beating Megatron had just administered. He had been beaten for nearly three hours before he nearly passed out. He barely had energy to stagger to his quarters. Energon seeped out of the wounds for a while before his interal repairs staunched them.   
  
Why did he take it?   
  
That was a question the Seeker often asked himself. The answer was always clear. To kill the pain of betryal. The betryal of everyone who had ever really given a rip about him. Skyfire, Firestorm, and maybe Skywarp and Thundercracker. The list wasn't very long, but it nagged at Starscream like corrosion. But was the pain of the beating, or betryal worse? It was hard to choose.  
  
Quietly, Starscream contemplated his life...   
  
My God, my tourniquet  
  
Return to me salvation  
  
My God, my tourniquet  
  
Return to me salvation  
  
"Ah, there you are, Starscream. I've been wondering where you got to," chortled Megatron, allowing a chuckle to escape his metal throat and a smile to cross his faceplate.   
  
The nimble young Seeker returned the smile, eagerness shining on his every feature.  
  
Since leaving Firestorm, his boyhood friend, and the inicident with Skyfire, Starscream had returned to Cybertron and joined the Decepticons. He wore the violet insignias with a great deal of pride. But under that almost cocky pride was more often than not, strength to back it up.  
  
Which is why Megatron admired him.  
  
As Starscream advanced in the rank and file of the army, evetunally taking over as Seeker Commander and then as a right hand of Megatron, Starscream found himself more and more under his leader's scrutiny rather than praise.  
  
Starscream really didn't....hate Megatron. That wasn't it at all. It was...well, something beyond that...less than hate but more than pure devotion.   
  
Like a ball and chain, Starscream's admiration of Megatron bound him to the tyrant. And like a spice addiction, it had him coming back for more.  
  
Do you remember me?  
  
Lost for so long...  
  
Will you be on the other side?  
  
Or will you forget me?  
  
I'm dying, praying, bleeding and screaming  
  
Am I too lost to be saved?  
  
Am I too lost?  
  
Starscream vaguely entertained the thought of ending everything. Allowing himself to drift across the black waters of death and into the Hades which awaited him. Leaving some kind of indication would allow Megatron to find him, and that would be fatal. Would he find salvation that way?   
  
Would she remember him?  
  
It didn't matter now. The only question, Starscream thought as he steeled himself to go through with it, was how.  
  
The perfect method came to him.  
  
His mind set in something of a numb resolve, lost in his own pain, Starscream set out for the nearest volcano.   
  
My God, my tourniquet  
  
Return to me salvation  
  
My God, my tourniquet  
  
Return to me salvation  
  
I want to die!!!  
  
As he landed, he removed the Energon cell he had procured and held it above the volcano, allowing it to turn a toxic green color.   
  
He looked at it for a long moment before he realized something.  
  
The flaming pit of the volcano wasn't the last image he wanted in his memory banks.  
  
My God, my tourniquet  
  
Return to me salvation  
  
My God. my tourniquet  
  
Return to me salvation  
  
The optics of the femme flashed online. Her respiration slowed, and her systems began to return to normal. The nightmare...or perhaps memory, was gone now. Her memory banks recalled vague images of someone crying out to be saved.   
  
But from what?  
  
Pain. A soul that was crying out to stop the pain.   
  
She knew that soul lingered in her spark. It was calling not just to God, but to her.   
  
A bleeding soul...crying out for a tourniquet.  
  
My wounds cry for the grave  
  
My soul cries for deliverance  
  
Will I be denied?  
  
Christ!  
  
Tourniquet!  
  
My suicide...  
  
"Starscream!"  
  
The call of his name brought the Seeker out of his reverie. He had landed in the mountians of West Virginia. They were beautiful, in the setting sun. At first he thought he was dreaming. But there she was...Firestorm, heading towards him. She transformed and landed in his arms.  
  
Starscream dropped the Energon cube and caught her.   
  
"Don't! Please...don't do it," she pleaded.  
  
"Firestorm...How did you know?"  
  
"I don't know...I had a dream, and I thought I would find you here. Something guided me here. And I know what you were going to do. Don't. There has to be a better way..."  
  
Firestorm's optics pleaded with him. There was no way he would ignore the pleading in that voice. He held her tightly, never wanting to let her go. The answer to his problems was simple...Firestorm was his better half--the one who made him complete in every way, shape, fashion and form. With her, there was nothing he couldn't face.   
  
They looked into each other's optics, the years of unspoken communication not dulled by their long seperation.. Starscream picked up the Energon and stowed it in his cockpit. Together, they went to face Megatron....  
  
My wounds cry for the grave  
  
My soul cries for deliverance  
  
Will I be denied?  
  
Christ!  
  
Tourniquet!  
  
My suicide...  
  
Megatron drowsily awoke as he saw Starscream walk into his throne room, with Optimus Prime's twit of a sister at his side. He managed a smile.  
  
"Good job, Starscream. You caught her, I take it?"  
  
"No, Megatron. We're here to prove a point," replied the Seeker, and pulled the toxic Energon from where he was stowed. He took a lethal dose, and handed it to Firestorm, who did the same.   
  
They slowly slumped to the floor, smiling in each other's faces as they slowly went offline, intertwined in mind, body, and soul.  
  
My God, my tourniquet  
  
Return to me salvation  
  
My God. my tourniquet  
  
Return to me salvation  
  
Flabbergasted, Megatron stared at the two unmoving bodies, and shuddered.  
  
Okay! So what do you think? Please leave me a review. But before you do, let me take this chance to get on my soapbox a moment...  
  
I know there are a lot of people out there who are hurting and in pain from their past. There is a tourniquet, and it's not so far away. His name is Jesus Christ of Nazareth. He came into the world, born of a virgin, to save us all. He died a horrible death on a cross so that we can all live with Him forever...  
  
"For God so loved you...yes you, He gave His only begotten Son. That whoever (and that means you, too) believes in Him will not perish, but live eternally."  
  
John 3:16  
  
If you are a soul in pain, crying out for a tourniquet, then ask Jesus to come into your heart today. Don't wait until it's too much for you to bear. I think if He could bring dead people back to life and cast out demons, He can help you overcome your past and you can become a new person in Him.  
  
I know some of you are thinking that I'm being preachy, but please believe me when I say that's not what I'm trying to do. I am only trying to give those people who have never heard the message of Christ to have that chance. Please don't be mad at me for that. Thanks for letting me have my soapbox moment. And hey, if you want to talk, then send me an e-mail, and I'll be glad to talk to you about Christ and how He changed me and my family. 


End file.
